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Chris "The Fox" Cotterell

 
Cricket Style Right Hand Batsmen with a golfing tendency
Offspin and normally employed when under 16's come into bat
Previous Clubs Whitefriars OB CC
Favorite Away Ground Aston Ingham
Cricket Highlight Winning a league game with 8 men
Most Embarrassing Moment in Cricket Caught Joe Cotterell bowled Tom Cotterell for '0'
Funniest Moment Seen
on a  Cricket Pitch
Caught off Norm's head
Cricket Hero Keith Miller
   

Favourite Links

www.betfair.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Favourites & Likes
Food Italian - anything cooked by someone else
Drink Timothy Taylors Landlord
Car One that works
Music R & B, Classical, Motown, Soul, etc
Films The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
TV Sport and Sport and if the misses is out more sport
Books Military, Political, History
Non Cricket Sportsperson George Best, Mike Rollit, Mike Teague, John Jo O'Neil
Other Sport (play or watch) Golf, Rugby, Shooting, Skiing, Racing
 

Top 5 Pet Hates

People who wear black socks and tuck the trousers into them (editor: Busey qualifies)
Schoolboy batters (editor: WHY? They are most of your wickets)
Cheats
Bullies
See 1 (editor: Busey can't you take a hint)
   

Cotter's Journal

 

Match Report England v Australia at Edgbaston 2nd August 2009

Having had nothing to talk about since planning funerals and comforting teenage spinners, this being the silly season, what better to write about than a pop festival or a test match. Both have elements of carnival, colour, atrocious weather conditions, high drama and alternate boredom, expensive food and drink and bossy security dudes. It was a tense trip up, her indoors driving as a penance for mishearing a weather forecast on Thursday that suggested further rain in Brum. As I drove back down the M5 in bright sunshine and hearing that 30 overs would be played, thus not only had we missed the rump of a day’s cricket but also would get no refund, I confess to damning in the most voluble terms the day we met.
And so, having had a brush with said security people who argued that Jenny’s bottle of elderberry cordial was in fact 120% proof Polish vodka (sorted by me saying ‘taste it you twat ‘ as any self respecting leader of the Tory party might say) we got into the Raglan stand, mercifully a long way from the Barmy Army. Play was delayed by an hour so time for coffee, Marstons Pedigree on draught and a pasty. Out come our heroes Strauss and Bell (not my particular favourite but this passed unremarked as he was on his home ground and there were a lot of Brummies about).I have seen Strauss make three test match tons, all crucial in the context of the game, once here, once in India and at the Oval. He looked on for another century but was also pushing hard for runs and so gloved Hilfenhaus to Manou. Shane Warne has taken to calling Ian Bell the Shermanator, after a film character, the implication being that Bell is a dorkish prat. Uneasy as this makes me, he does have a point. No doubt Bell has bags of talent, he is an ex England youth captain, his name rumored to be penciled in by the ECB as FEC, future England captain. Mike Atherton, also burdened by this moniker had it translated to him as F**king Educated C**t, Bell might be happier with this version than Warne’s soubriquet. Almost falling over when luckily not given LBW to the ill-fated Mitchell Johnson, he did look panic stricken and, it has to be said, like a rather lost little boy.
What followed, after Bell and Collingwood departed, was pure theatre, Freddie and his Dreamers. The normally tedious Barmy Army, chanting ‘Super, super Fred ‘,were in an almost orgasmic state as he spanked the hapless bowlers to all parts of the ground. Not to be outdone Matt Prior hit juicy shots with impressive power and timing, but he lived in the shadow of a very big man: these two had England scoring at 5 an over. What anti climax as our champion was caught out by a high bounce from Hauritz, off spinners were to figure very much in this day. A precocious innings from Stuart Broad, intermixed with the uncomplicated swatting of a bouncer free Swann, got the score up to an unlikely lead of 118.We were happy, very happy in fact as this could have been a different story to tell but much better was to come, the demise of Ricky Ponting. That he was bowled through the gate by Swann was a great result but what was better was the way Swann tormented him in the previous five balls. So the day ended with a possible England win on Monday; do we come back tomorrow, what a prospect.
Why do I hate the Barmy Army? It’s because they have brought in this negative football fan culture which gets its kicks from chanting insults at the opposition and has a one-eyed stance on its own team until weaknesses appear. Ponting was booed as he came out to chants of ‘who are ya?’ I wanted shout ‘who is he, he is Australia’s highest test run scorer of all time that’s who you mongoloid, pathetic ignorant wankers’ But who is going to listen when you are surrounded by the din of this self promoting all white Sturm Abteilung that purports to be England’s official ‘supporters?
 

2-9-04 'It never ceases to amaze me how some people reveal a part of them that you did not think likely or possible. You may think I refer to the six wicket haul of our redoubtable captain, well overdue, and you might be right. Happy accident on a pitch which was just right for his gentle deviation off the pitch is a view worth taking. It has been sometimes a common sight to see twos slow bowlers vanish into the haze caused by the smoke from overworked bats, Jamer being a particular sufferer in the past but he had his revenge. He backed himself but not to the extent of keeping himself on; or maybe the 6, 4, and sundries off his last over influenced the decision. I like the way he sent yours truly to have a go at the vicious slogger expecting equal treatment. The guy who took 7 for them bowled a similar if quicker style so good choice and good captaincy. Not it wasn't that. Maybe it was trying to get Dave Green, a mild and gentle man, to restrain himself with 15 overs to go and one wicket left. Dave sees stars, red lights and deep mists when he bats, a brooding violence takes hold, almost a pathological desire to smash the thing anywhere. I t was quite scary at times when you bat with someone whose normal smiley visage is disfigured by a crude primeval blood lust. No not that. Was it the hunched shambling figure of Allen, a crippled victim of years of crouching behind the stumps, continually belting the ball into mid wicket, relying on dropped catch after dropped catch for his 50 (which alas eluded him on the basis of probability theory), no I don't think so. Was it Pierre, a mighty wafter of the willow, perishing runless to a rare catch and who could not stop himself from bemoaning his poor luck at such injustice, no probably not. Fast Eddie, his tracer bullets zipping into the ground, did not begin the rout , now that was a surprise but he cleaned them out just the same, apologising for the (ho ho) misdirected bouncers. Nope not him. No I tell you what it was, it was the rounders and in particular the likes of Holder who took the game far too seriously to the point when the umpire had to revert to the non existent rule book to see if yellow cards were an option open to him. What is the matter with these people that, notwithstanding 1000 runs in the season, they need to get all fired up over a kids game, bringing the game into disrepute, unable to take a joke, what is the world coming to when grown men .....blah blah (turn to page 94)
 
19-8-04 Captaincy , especially of the Twos, is never easy. It is particularly difficult when key players are late for whatever reason. Hence, when the received wisdom is to bowl first on a wet wicket, Jamer batted with 9 men ready at 2.00pm.This decision was probably fatal , certainly for the batsmen coming in at 1 to 8.The game could have been won anyway, despite this set back but more of that later. A rather ancient bowler (he is at least 65) in a white beeny hat , tossed up a series of slow mortar shells; accurate, with some guile and a little movement (if you think I am sticking up for grey haired spinners, you may have a point). These bombs blew apart wicket after wicket , each was given up to this deceitful stuff by batsmen who failed to master basic slow bowling on a sticky dog .The only really bright light was Kent who manfully scored 21 and so Birdlip fell apart to rather innocuous bowling. That is until Jamer at 9 , assisted by John Pedra , added enough vital runs to put up a score of 129, which should have been enough. However, Nemesis, in the shape of dropped catches, awaited. There were a total of 8, though that may not be right, some of which were difficult and some easy though the definition of easy is debatable when you consider how it was made to look like taking a snorter one handed at deep long leg. But that is why we are in the twos. Poor Ben Symcox, who bowled very well, at time brilliantly, was denied his 5for by collective incompetence. His match winning spells foundered on his fielders but he never showed his exasperation, that will come later when he is old enough to swear at such displays (and when he takes his catches as well). He was assisted by Kent who also was an excellent support. Other and more senior bowlers left something to be desired on a helpful wicket. Jamer in the fining session after castigated his team and rightfully so. He was not fined for winning the toss, the rest of us coughed up for the guilt trip this game had become. I am glad to see that losing still hurts for some people, humility in a poor performance should generate some resolve to do better next week; I bloody hope so. 
 

17-5-04
My congratulations to Towner and the first team to win their first game in somewhat controversial circumstances. I suspect the replay will also have it's moments. I would suggest that the team travel over there on the roller which, I think, would demonstrate a commitment to ' a level playing field', all puns intended. It would also assist if Steady were to be given Andy Heiron’s level set up parallel with the popping crease notwithstanding taking a hologram of the Laws of Cricket suitable for display on the sight screens. It must have been a little disconcerting to run into Mad Dog in a less than auspicious occasion though he appears to me to have become slightly more civilised by second team standards, a bit like Marvin Hagler before anyone actually hit him. I did detect a glimmer of a smile talking to him after, or did  I just see his teeth. Great to see Charlie back in a gritty mood, playing shots only he can and Georgie proves the value of those of us who always said he had it in him, it might just take a little time. Steve was always a supporter and it was nice to see it vindicated though I congratulate those involved in his selection as well. I might have said that I taught him everything he knew but the lack of any desire to employ the deadly full bunger suggests otherwise. Overall it looked a team that meant business and played with some determination not to cave in under pressure. Others might castigate themselves for poor shots or dropped catches or whatever but it is a team game played by this club and that is what must come first and last.

 CPC.

PS .As we all know history belongs to those that write it ; all participants of the fantasy league be warned!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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